Sonny

Sonny for Prez!

I've decided I'm tired of the bulk of idiots running for the job. Therefore, I shall run on a platform of sonshine (Sonny, get it?) to get America back to the light.

First, I promise to get us the fuck outta IRAQ..this administration's obsession with evildoers has hurt us..and crawling out of the woodwork are "bible-belters"- they preach from the bible, then take a belt of booze- telling us all how to live our lives so's we don't end up in HELL.. I will go after them like a New York cockroach exterminator!

I will support our troops by ending these foolish and feckless military misadventures!

I will refocus on the homefront and start helping Americans who need it, like Katrina victims. Make no mistake, I will use the military when necessary, but I won't make it my foreign policy to attack countries....

Next, I will allow Mexico to join the USA..them Latina babes will serve on my cabinet!

Anybody making less than $50,000/year will be given..$50,000! It's time Uncle Sam started acting like an uncle and not a patriarch!

I will find Osama Bin Laden and will throw him in jail with Dr. Laura for an hour to TORTURE him... why not put two war whores in the same room with each other!

I will keep neo-conservatives OUTTA my bedroom and outta the doctor's office!!

I will make Cindy Sheehan foreign ambassador..there will be no more middle aged white guys with high blood pressure anywhere in my administration! PEACE will be the message!