Dr. Laura poses at age 27 for Bill Ballance, who was 58!! Note his reflection on her shiny young skin!!

Dr. Laura, in her latest NewsPress drama-queen column, says Miley Cyrus should be ashamed of the "vulgar" poses in Vanity Fair. She goes on to lecture us on the importance of morals and principles (ie, obsessed with sex as being "dirty"...Freud had a field day with this type of neurosis) and how the free wheeling 1960s have created all these teen sex objects..oh my goodness, this lady is a moron! First of all, the Miley pictures are nothing to be ashamed of. All you self-righteous nitwits like Marie Osmond and Bill O’Reilly jumping on the bash -Miley bandwagon better look in the mirror before I break it over your heads!!

What is pathetic is that Dr Laura perpetuates the stereotype of sexuality as something reserved for anal middle-aged white ladies to judge...it is not! A healthy respect for the body will allow for a little harmless exploration..but when dried-out brain dead SKAGGS like Dr. Laura try to criminalize freedom of expression because of their own sexual issues, we go back to the dark ages..Dr. Laura, you charlatan..take a look at your own pictures and life before you try to criticize someone else because....

to quote my friend Marvin Gaye…"what's going on??"

nothing wrong with being gay, by the way..I'm not..but if you are ..OK!

Just flew back from vacation and boy are my arms tired!! I went to Brazil and rented a little hut by the beach where they showed "Coffin Joe" flicks..he's my new old hero! HAHAHAHAHA…

So what is going on. Well, my little town Carpinteria has been hijacked by Indians! Apparently, they are offended if we use Indians as guides for school spirit. It insults them and depicts them as warriors!. This is the case at Carpinteria High School where an Indian statue has graced the entrance for decades. Now all of a sudden, a Chumash student doesn't like it..he cried to his mommy and the school board and the board majority voted to remove all offending images. To suggest there were no warriors among the Indians is absurd! Would they rather see a slot machine in place the warrior statue? Then I'd be offended! The students staged a protest on Wednesday and were understandably upset. They showed courage and passion, more than I can say for the school board and superintendent Cordiero who seem to be concerned more with political correctness. To my native American friends, the "victim act" is getting a little old... and if you are going to expend energy being offended, what about America's bombing thousands of Iraqi children? Shouldn't that offend you??

And to make matters worse, Dr. Laura Disses Carp High students, calls them wussies!

Perhaps the fake Dr. would volunteer herself as the new mascot?

No, she's too much of a phony to understand the folks in Carpinteria. She is pathetic, posing as a moral authority, covering up her son's disgraceful service in the Army, posing for porn pictures, preaching against behavior she herself is guilty of..here's a suggestion Dr. Laura...take this quarter, go downtown and have a rat gnaw off that thing attached to your neck! (your head)

over and out kee-moe-sabi...

Dumb and Dumber

I was thrilled, THRILLED, to find out that Dr. Laura will be joining Sean Hannity on

" Hannity's America" a very scary show on FOX..financed by ultra rightwing Aussie Rupert Murdoch and full of neoconisms from Hannity's phobias. Now, Dr. Laura and Hannity both operate at half the brain capacity of normal folks, so the two of them working together may approach the sagacity of a flea!

Ok I got two questions for Dr. Laura

…..Sean..ask her if her son Deryk, has been court-martialed yet, or has taken responsibility for the racist, violent blog that contained images of child porn; or ask her if it is still a good idea to get into radio like she got into radio by having an affair with DJ Bill Ballance and posing in pornographic pictures for him?

Arnold moves in on me, I plan to move in on Maria!

Why is everyone following me to Carpinteria..I try hard to be offensive and obnoxious, to push folks away and what do I get? Dr. Laura hanging out at Harley Davidson down the road; Kevin Costner wants to be close and buys a coastal ranch next to Santa Claus Lane; what next, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver a stone's throw away? YES..dammit. Arnold and Maria just bought into Rancho Monte Alegre..I used to live there in the 1990s..it is beautiful, but I'm worried Arnold may fuck it up, like he is doing to California.

Rancho Monte Alegre

From 1991 to 1996, I lived on two Carpinteria ranches; Rancho Monte Alegre and the Young Ranch on Foothill Road. These are examples of old Carpinteria..wild, rustic and beautiful. Rancho Monte Alegre was the hideout of Hollywood actors like Robert Mitchum, John Wayne, Harry Carey Jr. and his wife, Olive (Ollie) Carey! The ranch owners told stories of Ollie hosting cocktails parties in her little pink bungaloo (where I lived). She acted in the old B movie westerns, which I just love. The ranch was sold when the Carp water district annexed and built the 3 million gallon water tank on ranch property. The owners always said that given a reliable water supply, they could sell the ranch ..they envisioned ranchettes on the land..and that's exactly what happened. The CWD denies the new tank had anything to do with development!

The entrance to the ranch was gorgeous, but the new owners destroyed it (par for the course!)

So here is my throw down to you…

Arnold..

while you and Maria are sittin' pretty up at the ranch, planting your native-only garden, you should think long and hard about taking money away from schools, jet-setting around California on the taxpayers dime, showing up at photo-ops with charts that third graders could have done a better job explaining, and how you are failing California. It is long past time to cut funds where it makes sense or raise taxes where it makes sense..tax the things that add least to society ..smokers, drinkers, gamblers, trust fund babies. Tax cell phones, tax alcohol and cigarettes, tax the Indians, tax the big businesses who suck resources from California.

Just do it and stop worrying about what your conservative friends will say.. cut funds from the agriculture commission who is wasting millions removing non native species from California.. and FINE THE REAL POLLUTERS like Greka Oil...and the landowners who provide the lease (Brooks Firestone & COLAB).

It makes no sense to balance a budget on the backs of students or removing programs, like music and art, that will allow them to enrich their lives instead of hanging out at the casino. Geez, man, get a grip.. since we are neighbors now, you are going to hear me howling in the hills within earshot of the ranch....you better help me find a way to save the music and keep the California Parks open!

Welcome to the hood, pal.... and here's some homework for you...

California Progress Report

Wasting Money on Fear...

thank President Clinton for enacting the Invasive Species Council in 1999 enabling madness in government

Florida and California Had the Highest Invasive Species Expenditures

Florida and California each spent considerably more than the other five

states on invasive species activities. In fiscal years 1999 and 2000, Florida

reported spending $94.5 million and $127.6 million, respectively;

Over half ($154.5 million) of the funding for specific categories of invasive species went to terrestrial arthropods (a category of invertebrates—primarily insects—that includes fruit flies and Asian long-horned beetles). The plant category, which includes terrestrial noncrop (such as purple loosestrife), terrestrial crop (crop weeds such as johnsongrass), and aquatic plants, received the second greatest amount of funding—$70.7 million!!!!

the-weeds-of-willapa-bay

....Even so, Fritzi Cohen, owner of the Moby Dick Hotel, does not endorse The Nature Conservancy or Washington State’s rationale or method for eradicating the noxious weed. She also doesn’t think getting rid of the invasive grass will ever help her oyster farm.

NOW GET TO WORK!!

Beach Blanket Bingo with the Stars...

What’s become of my beloved Padaro Lane….monster beach houses and a Hollywood has-been are bringing disrepute to the neighborhood! If I had the power, I would evict Rob Lowe! Costner can stay because he's done some good films: "Open Range" and "the Postman"..but Robby.. why did you hire some nutty woman to care for your kids? Why doesn't mommy do that? Maybe Dr. Laura can help?? Welp… I'm on the case…

UPDATE:

Rob Lowe Exposed!!

Nanny says he whipped it out! Who among us hasn't had the same inclination..I ask you? Usually, you need to find a willing recipient, not the maid or the nanny or the girl at the bus stop...geez..GROW UP!

Shall I rename Padaro..Padaro Perv Lane??

LOS ANGELES — Rob Lowe and his wife are suing their former nanny, claiming she told secrets and lies about their family.

The complaint filed Monday in a Los Angeles Superior Court asks for at least $1,000,000 in damages and charges Laura Boyce with violating a confidentiality agreement, defamation and infliction of emotional distress on the former "West Wing" star; his wife, Sheryl; and their two sons.

Boyce was hired to take care of their sons for most of 2007 before she quit in November, according to the complaint.

The court papers make no specific reference to what information Boyce passed along, or to whom, only that Boyce had "betrayed their trust and engaged in a scheme to hurt the Lowes by spreading malicious lies" both during and after she served as a nanny.

It wasn't clear whether Boyce had hired an attorney. A message left at a phone number listed in her name wasn't immediately returned.

Lowe, 44, is appearing on ABC's "Brothers and Sisters." His screen credits include "Wayne's World," "St. Elmo's Fire" and "The Outsiders."

RobResponds!

"Everyone knows we live in a time where public figures are targets. But I also know of many people in everyday life who are paying the price of a climate where anyone can accuse anybody of anything, anytime, and hope for a big cash pay-off at the end. "Hush money" to just go away. Well I won't go away. No one intimidates my family. My wife and I have many former and long term employees, all of whom know this woman, who can and will refute any claims of anything inappropriate in our home, or anywhere else. We will defend ourselves with vigor and without fear."

Hey, that's what Bill O'reilly did when his co-worker accused him of sexual harrassment with a loofa..he made the media rounds denying everything but saying he was stupid for saying "men things" to the woman!

Why can't you guys be more like Kevin Costner? (except for the wanker episode with the masseuse!)

Kev's oceanside ranch..cool but pricey!

By beating the crap out of the Indians!!

Wendy's Lawyer Disses Chumash! Where's Travis?

Cappello Entertains at Board of Supervisor lot line hearing....tries to look tough!

Brooks questions Indian sovereignty, Chumash want what is theirs; what the white men, like Brooks, took from them!

It was a hearing on a lot line adjustment that the Chumash have appealed because the property has some Chumash artifacts or graves on it. The guy who owns the property in question is Doug Herthel, head of the anti- casino POLO organization that Travis always writes about in his editorials and HATES. However, Wendy’s #1 law dog Cappello was right there supporting Herthel...I wonder if Barry is trying to distance himself from the NewsPress or turn Wendy against Travis?

Mixed Smoke Signals?

Cappello says white folks should be ashamed of the way they've treated Indians in the past, then he slams Chumash appeal of the lot line adjustment, calling them "arrogant". I almost fell off my chair.. it was too funny!

some history

If you fly Air Sonny, then you’re gonna hafta do as I say ma’am..

Well, you may have heard the story of a Transportation Safety officer who demanded that a woman remove her nipple ring or she couldn’t board the airplane. Apparently a nipple ring is a security threat to the USA! However, she was allowed to keep her belly button ring after they yanked off the nipple ring.

"Hamlin, 37, said she was trying to board a flight from Lubbock to Dallas on Feb. 24 when she was scanned by a Transportation Security Administration agent after passing through a larger metal detector without problems.

The female TSA agent used a handheld detector that beeped when it passed in front of Hamlin’s chest, the Dallas-area resident said.

Hamlin said she told the woman she was wearing nipple piercings. The agent then called over her male colleagues, one of whom said she would have to remove the jewelry, Hamlin said.

Hamlin said she could not remove them and asked whether she could instead display her pierced breasts….THE MEN SAID NO!

What a bunch of weenies! You should NEVER turn down an opportunity to see a female breast when freely offered, even if it has a bomb in it..pull the ring and BLAM!!??

Now, of course the lady should sue these nitwits for millions for abusing her civil rights..this is Homeland Stupidity, not Homeland Security…and goes to show how silly we have become about terrorism…can’t even tell a real threat from a falsey!!

So Tired, Tired of Waiting..Tired of Waiting for YOU!!

I’m getting fed up with Father Justice sitting around with his thumb up his ass..the evidence is overwhelming..the NewsPress 8 should be reinstated. What’s the problem, what’s the delay? McCaw and Von Nipper BROKE LABOR laws, why are they still allowed to skate on the frozen pond of journalism, fish in the ocean of liberty, or puke on the statue of probity?

We need more stories written by talented people…not more dog stories, not more restaurant stories, not more Dr. Laura stories about what she had for breakfast..but real stories that affect real people. Get the reporters out on the street and do some real work, if you can’t then..here’s my request…a hostile take over of the News-Press..maybe Sara Miller McCune could lead the charge..she’s a real publisher.

Now to Wendy and Nipper…you two are the biggest frauds to hit SB..Nipper, you may have noticed a drop off in traffic at your Nippers.com website…even your supporters are starting to figure it out..and Wendy, if you lost all your ill-gotten money today, you’d be homeless…you have no talent. If you came up to me on the street, I’d give you a quarter to go buy a copy NEW and IMPROVED News-Press..coming soon!!

She’s Like a Rainbow….

OK then..it is time to explore the other colors of the hair rainbow. I’ll admit, I was stuck in a blonde fairytale that has slowly but surely turned into a nightmare..my dreams and hopes of blonde perfection, once so promising, have been dashed by the hard reality of reality… my painfully drawn conclusion is: blondes suck. However, I WILL NOT give up Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Kristy Swanson) posters! Everything else goes….

Now, do the others suck? The redheads, the brownheads, the blackheads? I’m gonna find out. I am hopeful that the women I find in this scientific study will reveal themselves to be soulful, passionate, independent girls who know what it takes to keep a guy like me wimpering for more…

But first I gots to know… these are the Q’s I’ll ask on the street and to you, my vast reading audience…don’t be shy!

Questions:

1. Do you like rich men or poor men?

2. what does it mean when you look at a guy’s crotch?

3. how young is too young and how old is too old?

4. do your drink alcohol or take drugs?

5. do you like music?

6. do you think the Iraq invasion was a good idea?

7. what is the surest sign you give when you are interested in a man?

8. how many times a day do you pee or play with yourself?

9. do you enjoy torturing men?

10. If Sonny (me) was a girl, what would you say to her?

Thank you for considering these questions and you may answer at your leisure…. and here's a little something for the inamorata!

appears to be just another temper tantrum

Gary Earle, Noleta mouthpiece, anti poor people and in bed with Travis Armstrong, accuses Carpinteria of dumping farmworkers in Noleta.. screams at Board of Supervisors and accuses Wolf of "breaking promises".. is this the bruising the NewsPress threatened? Gee, what's up with the folks in Noleta..is their motto "protect our tract homes"?? If we want a building moratorium, then we need to vote for it..I'd support it. Until then, the county is going to plan and allow development..PERIOD! Nothing has changed.. if you object to a proposed development, you go and voice your opinion at the meetings..you may win, you may lose, that's life, get over it. Where was Travis at the BOS public comment section....hiding behind Wendy McCaw as usual!

If I wrote a letter to elected officials telling them: if you don't do what I want you to do, I will make your remaining time in office extremely bruising and hard, I'd be arrested for harassment or making threats against a person..

The Board of Supervisors should publicly condemn the NewsPress and demand a retraction and apology.

Then, they should look into a legal remedy...

California Penal Code

§76. Threats Against Public Officials, Appointees, Judges, Staff or Their Families; Intent and Ability to Carry Out threat; Punishment

1. Every person who knowingly and willingly threatens the life of, or threatens serious bodily harm to, any elected public official, county public defender, county clerk, exempt appointee of the Governor, judge, or Deputy Commissioner of the Board of Prison Terms, or the staff or immediate family of any elected public official, county public defender, county clerk, exempt appointee of the Governor, judge, or Deputy Commissioner of the Board of Prison Terms, with the specific intent that the statement is to be taken as a threat, and the apparent ability to carry out that threat by any means, is guilty of a public offense, punishable as follows:

1. Upon a first conviction, the offense is punishable by a fine not exceeding five thousand dollars ($5,000), or by imprisonment in the state prison, or in a county jail not exceeding one year, or by both that fine and imprisonment.

The Booze Brothers

Armstrong, Armendariz, & now Gil Armijo with Joe Centeno as chief enabler..

Centeno aid and supervisor hopeful Gil Armijo, recently busted for DUI

Watching the news last night, John Palminteri was interviewing Gil Armijo. Armijo is Supervisor Joe Centeno's right hand man who intends to run for his seat when Centeno retires. The story is Gil accused the new sheriff Bill Brown of fiscal malfeasance scarcely a month into Brown's tenure as sheriff. The reason for the whistle-blowing is because Armijo was busted for DUI! I guess he wants to get back at someone for his own stupidity..the guy's an alcoholic in denial.

Recently, the Santa Barbara County Taxpayers Asso tried to sell a glowing report to the county about the social and economic wonders of the Chumash Casino. I challenge them to commission a report on how much the taxpayers are doling out to clean up after drunk drivers..many of whom are members of the same taxpayers association!

Well… finally…she is using her MFCC background for some good…

Dr. Laura has found a way to end Planned Parenthood, end abortions, promote safe sex and not commit a sin! She even wrote a new book about it…

It’s called “All by Myself..Why Me?" and it is illustrated..see pics and ENJOY!

THE END!

Should you rent or buy??

How crude..but necessary! NY gov Eliot Spitzer spends over $4000 per shot at a hooker..I think that is less expensive than being married to a Jewish girl…we need a cost to benefit analysis.. the most I’ve ever paid is $50 and ALWAYS pay cash….that’s my rule!

Anyway Spitz is gone..what’s with these public servants? Cruising for sex, paying for sex…I know why..cos they are dickheads, that’s why.

There is a limit to what I’ll do for a pussy..sure, I’ll worship it, take care of it, nourish it..but let’s face it, after two or three years with the same one, the thrill wears off..so naturally, you start looking for love in all the wrong places. Then the shit hits the fan when you get caught..it always happens and always will so long as we have a libido.

Some of us are able to control Pinocchio. My dad gave me his copies of “The Laws of Success” by Napoleon Hill..this is stuff from way back but it tells you how to channel your sexual energy into more productive pursuits..I read it and don’t jerk off as much as I used to…self control!! That’s the key..I'm much happier now and so are all my girlfriends...

Ok..now I gotta go for a “bike ride”…

Now, all you wild girls out there..STRAIGHTEN UP and FLY RIGHT!!

Attention KMART shoppers…I have an alibi..

..some rat peeled the stickers off Dr. Laura’s vehicle while she was shopping at the mall..probably La Cumbre Plaza. She was PISSED!

She says she had two yellow ribbon magnetic stickers: “PROTECT OUR SON” and “ARMY”…someone ripped them in half and put them on her roof!! I guess she wasn’t on her Harley. Her son is fighting so she can shop at Macy’s! What kind of peeps we got in SB??

Well..she has her clues…evil people! The kind that set up the crosses at Arlington West, the kind that go to universities..damn liberals..and the miscreants on the SB and Berkeley city councils who don’t support the invasion. Then she uses this benign incident at the mall to cheerlead for Bush’s war! Bush, the commander-in-chief..who has fucked things up so bad that America’s economy is about to collapse!

She claims if all the military personnel laid down arms, we would be attacked by Russia, China and Venezuela.. and don’t forget Cuba. My goodness, this woman is dumb as in freedumb! As long as America enables Israel to piss on the Palestinians in Gaza, things like 9/11 will keep happening.

Then she goes on to praise her son Deryk.. the little shit who disgraced the 82^nd!

Laura.. so someone upset your phony little patriotic display, so what…get over it, deal with it. You don’t sound like at all like a warrior, but rather a spoiled little crybaby nitwit…

That’s why they called me Dirty Burt.. a long time ago…

Dirt is good. Dirt is earthy..it feels good to walk on..better than a sidewalk….dirt grows grass and flowers and food…concrete grows houses, litter and crime. Too much concrete beneath your feet makes you fat and stupid..so get out there and run on some dirt..

Big Dirt: It must be lonely at the bottom. The ethically challenged News-Press is spending time looking for ethics lapses in other media..maybe to feel less lonely. Travis hides behind Wendy's million dollar dress to take potshots at locals, trying to pull them into his little hole. It is not working Travis...you look like an idiot..even more than before. The News-Press management can't preach ethics if it has none!

instead of looking for dirt on others, the News-Press needs to clean up its own act...

hey...what's ol' News-Press pal Frank Hotchkiss doing driving around Santa Barbara in an old black Porsche with NO FRONT LICENSE PLATES..and this guy wants to be on the city council?

Hotchkiss..Obey the Law

And don’t forget Wendy cheerleader and chickenhawk..

..Ms. Dr. Laura…

why can't she practice what she preaches??

"Dr. Laura doesn't believe in divorce, pre- or extramarital sex, or writing off one's family members, and yet she has done every one of those things: She became estranged from her father, mother, and younger sister. She dumped the nice Jewish orthodontist she married and never mentions. She engaged in an enthusiastic affair with Los Angeles radio legend Bill Ballance (who speaks very candidly with Bane), who helped her get into radio. Dr. Laura lured her current husband, Lew Bishop, away from his wife and three children, had her tubal ligation reversed in order to conceive out of wedlock. Eventually she and Bishop married and produced a child as goopily extolled (and, to my mind, as exploited) as Kathie Lee Gifford's kids Cody and Cassidy. Child of a Jewish father and Catholic mother, Dr. Laura converted to Orthodox Judaism, a choice that she uses as a bludgeon to people that she perceives as less "committed" to her brand of situational morality."

It’s a dirty world…

“alligator lizards in the air, on my porch”

don’t miss the screening of “Citizen McCaw” a movie about our very own blond bobble-headed maniac..Wendy McCaw! March 7 at the Arlington

What has happened to blonde women?? They used to be so sensual…

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

News-Press Mother Company Ampersand (&) Sues City of Santa Barbara

a silly retaliatory lawsuit, not for justice, but for revenge...

"When in delusion,, sue" seems to be the SBNP motto. The paper stated today that Wendy has filed a lawsuit against the city through former city employee and current SBNP lawyer Barry Capello.. Capello hasn't won a case yet, so maybe this will be it! However, the suit is full of nonsense..Wendy is miffed that local activist and Transportation Committee member David Pritchett was exercising his constitutional rights by protesting her in De La Guerra. The conspiracy theory states that Pritchett wants to redesign De La Guerra Plaza to facilitate more rallies and the City of SB is trying to "punish" the News-Press for editorials....How goofy is that?

Let justice prevail; let the judge throw the case out and stop wasting people's time...

TRIBAL NEWS!!!

Travis Armstrong's editorials are basically rants against government; false accusations against former employees; and projections onto others about aberrant behavior he can't face in himself.... yet, he belongs to a tribe with a large criminal element...

Travis Armstrong of the Santa Barbara (Calif.) News-Press, is a registered member of the Leech Lake band of the Minnesota Chippewa Tribe. The tribe operates Palace Casino and Hotel in Cass Lake, Northern Lights Casino, Hotel and Convention Center in Walker, and White Oak Casino in Deer River.

Chippewa ex cons...conspiracy, theft

Minnesota Chippewa Tribe

Cass Lake, MN 218-335-8585

Funding will provide the opportunity to develop uniform, standard procedures for the Tribes, State, and counties to follow when working with Indian families involved in severe physical and sexual abuse cases in Minnesota. The project served as a consortium of four reservations (Fond du Lac, Grand Portage, Leech Lake, and White Earth) to develop model projects for handling child abuse cases. The primary objectives were to: (1) train Tribal staff and establish and train multidisciplinary teams; (2) develop Tribal ordinances, codes, and protocols; (3) develop collaborative State, county, and Tribal agreements to develop cooperative procedures; and (4) provide training to members of local Tribal Councils to improve the overall response to child physical and sexual abuse.

Tribe Child Abuse

Tips for the Tongue Tied..

the mystery of non verbal communication

Valentine's Day is gone, but you've got a whole 'nother year to figure her out..

Try this: reading her body language.

1. For some mysterious reason, women show their interest in a guy by playing with their hair. By watching how she touches her hair, you'll find out her level of interest.

Once you make eye contact, study how she touches her hair. The first thing you should look for is if she flips her hair. If you see her toss her hair from one side to the other and then looks directly at you, this indicates that she has some level of desire for you and would like you to engage her in a conversation.

2. comes up to you and kicks you in the shin...means she's a brat

3. now if a girl walks by you and constantly flips her hair around like an idiot...yeah that might be her saying "look at me!"

4. when you pass by she tries to ignore you and when you have passed, she looks at you.

5. Big smiles with upper and lower teeth showing with a relaxed face.

6. Biting of the lips or showing of the tongue, licking her lips or touching of her front teeth.

7. She wets her lips, some women use only a single-lip lick, wetting the upper or lower lip, while others run the tongue around the entire lip area.

8. She protrudes her lips and thrust her breasts forward.

9. The Kama Sutra gives some good tips

now, get to work guys, and...

GOOD LUCK!!

something is happening but you don’t know what it is..do you, Mr. Jones…

a look at County Taxpayers Association, COLAB and the Santa Barbara News-Press

a recent News-Press editorial bemoans the action of the county board of supervisors to deny the presentation of a report praising the wonders of gambling in the Santa Ynez Valley..the report was paid for by the SB County Taxpayers Association, who has among its members supervisor Joe Centeno, Greka Oil spokesman Mike Stoker and a host of other shadowy characters...all pals of the Chumash and NewsPress...

SB COUNTY TAXPAYERS ASSO

COLAB

1. SBCounty Taxpayers Association..funded by private interests in Carpinteria and Santa Barbara and the north county, this right wing group consists of, among others, Carp councilman Joe Armendariz, Mike Stoker, and Lanny Ebenstein, county supe Joe Centeno, and Andy Caldwell as an "advisor". Armendariz, you remember, nearly killed himself and anyone in his way while speeding his Lexus thru Montecito in a drunken stupor.. I'm certain he won't do that again, but I don't trust him even a little bit...gets paid to sell private interests like gambling, development, and such.

2. COLAB...much like CTA, Colab consists of a mouthpiece and a few shadowy figures behind the scenes. The website doesn't include him, but we've all seen Andy Caldwell at the County Board of supervisor meetings..trying to sell north county private industry virtues to the rest of us..of course, Andy has become a jester, much like Joe. But, they do get paid to take up the county's time. These aren't real jobs, but instead are a type if sales job. Willie Chamberlain, a north county rancher who was defeated by Gail Marshall years ago, is one of the principals behind COLAB. Since he was defeated, he's been sending caldwell to the Board meetings to waste time under the guise of citizen participation.

3. The News-Press..a shoddy operation run by Wendy McCaw, Nipper VW, and Travis Armstrong. Wendy got her millions by a divorce settlement and has been spending money like a drunken Indian ever since. Travis is a gay Indian( nothing wrong with that) but has a hankering for booze. Like Joe Armendariz, got busted for drunk driving and hasn't gotten over his public humiliation..blames city government and nearly everyone else in Santa Barbara for his problems. He has been trying to get back at them for years thru daily editorials. Nipper is a short, chubby guy who rides the coattails of the rich and famous.

Values Vacuum..

Each of these entities has one thing in common..a values vacuum. The News-Press continues to exhibit this on a daily basis. From hiring Dr. Laura, a fraud and hypocrite of the lowest degree, to trying to pin child porn charges against one of Wendy's "enemies", the abyss is ever darkening. It seems the main purpose of the NewsPress is to glorify the Chumash Gambling Casino. The SYV was fine before the casino arrived, and no amount of money will reduce its negative impact on the valley.

Colab is simply a front for a few developer interests up north. County supervisor Brooks Firestone and Willie Chamberlain lease land to Greka Oil and want nothing to do with county environmental regulations. Hence, the recent Greka oil spills debacle.

The County Taxpayers Association sounds important, but it is merely a small group of conservatives that pays Joe Armendariz to push the private money/development agenda. Joe will never tell you what he thinks, only what they think.

Apate and Aletheia

The next time you see or read about the ills of government, the wonders of gambling, the lies of the pen, and the struggle between right and wrong...think of the source.

(APATE was the spirit (daimona) of deceit, guile, fraud and deception. Her male counterpart was Dolos the daimon of trickery and wiles. She was also a companion of the Pseudologoi (Lies). Her opposite number was Aletheia the spirit of truth.)

UCSB Students Protest Military on Campus…Dr. Laura protests students because Deryk flunked college!

Dr. Laura’s empty tirade against Freedom was typical Right Wing Blather….she claims the students don’t have the right to protest and don’t share her version of history. The facts are American foreign policy is racist, enables Israel to keep killing Palestinians, and has caused untold suffering among poor Muslims. That is the reason for 9/11 and the continued chaos in Iraq. The “surge” is not working.

We need new leaders. We need to change the station! The invasion was a disaster. WE LOST ALREADY!

Now the students, god love ‘em, are exercising their rights as Americans. Standing up for what they believe, peacefully protesting while the cops in riot gear jump around, looking to club a kid with a baton.

The military is a fine and necessary entity when used responsibly. The folks who serve are doing a job..they are not gods or saints. Sending them off to fight an irrational war does not make them good or bad…that’s their job. It is, therefore, up to us to make damn sure we think before we act.

The Bush Administration is milking the war propaganda to try to recruit more young people. This is abuse of power and should be addressed by the people the government serves. The students have honored themselves by taking them to task.

Dr.Laura knows this and knows her time in the spotlight is coming to a close as the election of a new president draws near. No more photo ops with the defense dept. Instead, I suggest an investigation into why the army covered up Deryk Schlessinger’s pathetic misdeeds while in the military and why he hasn’t been dishonorably discharged…

Love Letters to:

Dr. Laura: down to 20 pounds..light enough to lift her up the flagpole at SB Harley Davidson!

Dennis Miller…LOSER…Sports Unfiltered lasted one month…the NewsPress gossip guy Mineards informs me the Den Den has a game show lined up!

Carpinteria…latest stats show more murders occurred here than Santa Barbara… so don’t come knocking!

Santa Barbara…there’s nothing left but money and empty eyes..you folks should come to Carpinteria…

3^rd district supervisor Brooks Firestone for being such an all around dickhead

Bush and Cheney..for the stupid muthafuckin’ war they started in Iraq..

KEYT TV..reporter Arti N is sexy and slippery…

Get Some Real Religion!!

I don’t know who the next US president will be..but Huckabee or Obama would be a nice change..Huck wants more art and music in school, compassionate immigration reform, and wants to abolish the IRS…Obama wants to end the occupation of Irag and FREE THE TROOPS!

Now, Huckabee says we got too many laws in the USA because we don’t act right. If we followed the TEN COMMANDMENTS, we would be better off.. that sounds pretty reasonable. So I picked up my bible to check these commandments out and here’s what I found….

It looks like I got two choices.. in Matthew 22, Jesus says we only need two commandments: love the lord with all your heart; and love your neighbor as yourself.

In Exodus 20; God gave the TEN commandments. Seems Jesus and God were at odds how many we really need. I read God’s commandments and some of them don’t make a lick of sense: thou shalt not covet your neighbor’s ass or ox..my neighbor doesn’t have an ox, but she’s got a nice ass! Other commandments are simply to bolster God’s inferiority complex…love only me, I am a jealous god, etc.. so I can’t support those. Don’t kill and don’t steal..those are good. So it comes down to a compromise…we should all follow the three commandments:

1. don’t kill
2. don’t steal
3. love yourself and your neighbor

If you take my advice, we’ll have a better world and I’ll still get to do unto my neighbor!

be sure to wear some flowers in your hair..

Alcatraz to be torn down to make way for peace center?

by Catherine Bodry Feb 5th 2008 @ 6:30PM

If you still haven't made it to San Francisco's second-most-popular attraction (the first is cable cars), you might want to start planning that vacation before long. It's possible that Alcatraz, that formidable white structure hunkered out in San Francisco Bay, might be converted into an international peace center, if voters so choose.more

I’m all for peace and love, but I’ll wage war with anyone who messes with California landmarks!

Meet my new friend Da Vid…that’s new age lingo for “shithead”..

The Global Peace Foundation and its leader "Da Vid" is behind this insane idea..they are a non-profit that solicits funds from morons for ill -conceived ideas about "peace".. drop them an email for me..would ya? @ GPF... and send this joker back to his LSD trip!

Brokeback Hunchback…..

Well, I just installed a new In-Sink-Erator garbage disposal…and it didn’t blow up!

Now that my chores are done, I think I’ll make fun of my fave skinny.. Dr. Laura..so here I go….

You see..she talks about Heath Ledger’s drug addiction and jumps on the bash Brittany bandwagon..anything to get ratings or to prove her moral superiority.

My Analysis:

First off…Laura..STOP PREACHING!! I know you can’t because of severe feelings of guilt which you project onto end-of–their-rope celebrities. All these feelings and revelations about monogamy (you cheated), abortion ( you killed your mommy), drugs (your addiction to thinness) and other weird-ass associations are only designed TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK GOOD..TO YOURSELF! Honey..YOU IS NUDE and DELUDED!!

How can a person who calls herself a “Dr” not offer to help someone with a bipolar disorder..instead of just kicking her.

The reason is obvious..Dr. Laura is a big phony, an impostor of the lowest degree. Maybe she'll fit down my new garbage disposal!!

Bull’s eye on Cate…if I can find her

Roger..you're starting to annoy me...

is it the phoniness, the gayness, the preciousness, the actors sitting around talking about how important they are? I don't know. Maybe I’m jealous, but something is not right. I don't have the same feeling about Sundance or Cannes..maybe if they showed "Citizen McCaw" during the festival, my mind would change..

We have local bloggers like Craig Smith talking about how close he got to a starlet..Cate Blanchett or whoever? Hey, put me in a room alone with Cate and I guarantee a BULL’S EYE! She’s sooo pretty…

but..is it all about pretty? Is Santa Barbara trying too hard to be something it just ain’t? We needs more real stars... like the old Hollywood babes..gutsy and funny and cute

and...the festival NEEDS MORE CONTROVERSY, more edge, not more cocktails... that's what film is supposed to be..ART..not artsy...

Le Petite Bourgeoisie…..

I knew what was wrong with Santa Barbara lately, but I couldn’t quite put it into words. Leave it to a beautiful 78 year old woman to tell me..It’s a Bourgeois Town….

ODETTA CONCERT

Center aisle, five rows from the stage..a perfect seat, even though the Lobero seats were built for very little people, I was mildly comfortable.

Opening for Odetta was the Inner Light Community Gospel Choir..they were very nice. The choir leader was a little like a juggler trying to keep 1000 things up in the air with his wild arm movements. The songs..well, I didn’t recognize any of them, except "Motherless Child"! They don’t all have to be about Jesus. But if they are, a little variety would do.. “Oh Happy Day” would be a good choice to add to the repertoire.

OK! Very Enjoyable...

..after 45 minutes and a stage tweak, Odetta comes on accompanied by her excellent pianist, Radoslav Lorkovic…and she came on strong. The sold out crowd, made up of yuppies, facelifts and old folkies, (even David Crosby was there), gave her a standing ovation, of course! From the first song a sing-along to the last song encore “House of the Rising Sun”, there was no doubt about this woman’s legendary musical status. I was spellbound. Really. The songs were remarkable..from “TB Blues” to Leadbelly’s “Bourgeois Town”..a song about DC, but I think Santa Barbarans were squirming in their seats a little!

Then, it happened.. a rendition of 1963's “Roberta” that was so beautiful, it had me near tears. Odetta’s voice was so pure and the piano was so pretty..well..I got chills.

Legends can do that….

and the GOVERNATOR…

California is being inundated with parasites..people who would rather gamble, build mega mansions and gangbang than work or go for a hike. People like Wendy McCACA who just gave one million dollars to the Reagan Center in Santa Barbara! REAGAN..the guy who busted the air traffic controllers union, the guy who made us dependent on Saudi Arabian oil, and the guy who shut down facilities for mentally ill folks in California..and one of the dumbest presidents we’ve ever had!!

Now, Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger wants to close 48 State Parks..and cut funding for education!

Can you believe it??