If you fly Air Sonny, then you’re gonna hafta do as I say ma’am..

Well, you may have heard the story of a Transportation Safety officer who demanded that a woman remove her nipple ring or she couldn’t board the airplane. Apparently a nipple ring is a security threat to the USA! However, she was allowed to keep her belly button ring after they yanked off the nipple ring.

"Hamlin, 37, said she was trying to board a flight from Lubbock to Dallas on Feb. 24 when she was scanned by a Transportation Security Administration agent after passing through a larger metal detector without problems.

The female TSA agent used a handheld detector that beeped when it passed in front of Hamlin’s chest, the Dallas-area resident said.

Hamlin said she told the woman she was wearing nipple piercings. The agent then called over her male colleagues, one of whom said she would have to remove the jewelry, Hamlin said.

Hamlin said she could not remove them and asked whether she could instead display her pierced breasts….THE MEN SAID NO!

What a bunch of weenies! You should NEVER turn down an opportunity to see a female breast when freely offered, even if it has a bomb in it..pull the ring and BLAM!!??

Now, of course the lady should sue these nitwits for millions for abusing her civil rights..this is Homeland Stupidity, not Homeland Security…and goes to show how silly we have become about terrorism…can’t even tell a real threat from a falsey!!

So Tired, Tired of Waiting..Tired of Waiting for YOU!!

I’m getting fed up with Father Justice sitting around with his thumb up his ass..the evidence is overwhelming..the NewsPress 8 should be reinstated. What’s the problem, what’s the delay? McCaw and Von Nipper BROKE LABOR laws, why are they still allowed to skate on the frozen pond of journalism, fish in the ocean of liberty, or puke on the statue of probity?

We need more stories written by talented people…not more dog stories, not more restaurant stories, not more Dr. Laura stories about what she had for breakfast..but real stories that affect real people. Get the reporters out on the street and do some real work, if you can’t then..here’s my request…a hostile take over of the News-Press..maybe Sara Miller McCune could lead the charge..she’s a real publisher.

Now to Wendy and Nipper…you two are the biggest frauds to hit SB..Nipper, you may have noticed a drop off in traffic at your Nippers.com website…even your supporters are starting to figure it out..and Wendy, if you lost all your ill-gotten money today, you’d be homeless…you have no talent. If you came up to me on the street, I’d give you a quarter to go buy a copy NEW and IMPROVED News-Press..coming soon!!

She’s Like a Rainbow….

OK then..it is time to explore the other colors of the hair rainbow. I’ll admit, I was stuck in a blonde fairytale that has slowly but surely turned into a nightmare..my dreams and hopes of blonde perfection, once so promising, have been dashed by the hard reality of reality… my painfully drawn conclusion is: blondes suck. However, I WILL NOT give up Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Kristy Swanson) posters! Everything else goes….

Now, do the others suck? The redheads, the brownheads, the blackheads? I’m gonna find out. I am hopeful that the women I find in this scientific study will reveal themselves to be soulful, passionate, independent girls who know what it takes to keep a guy like me wimpering for more…

But first I gots to know… these are the Q’s I’ll ask on the street and to you, my vast reading audience…don’t be shy!

Questions:

1. Do you like rich men or poor men?

2. what does it mean when you look at a guy’s crotch?

3. how young is too young and how old is too old?

4. do your drink alcohol or take drugs?

5. do you like music?

6. do you think the Iraq invasion was a good idea?

7. what is the surest sign you give when you are interested in a man?

8. how many times a day do you pee or play with yourself?

9. do you enjoy torturing men?

10. If Sonny (me) was a girl, what would you say to her?

Thank you for considering these questions and you may answer at your leisure…. and here's a little something for the inamorata!

appears to be just another temper tantrum

Gary Earle, Noleta mouthpiece, anti poor people and in bed with Travis Armstrong, accuses Carpinteria of dumping farmworkers in Noleta.. screams at Board of Supervisors and accuses Wolf of "breaking promises".. is this the bruising the NewsPress threatened? Gee, what's up with the folks in Noleta..is their motto "protect our tract homes"?? If we want a building moratorium, then we need to vote for it..I'd support it. Until then, the county is going to plan and allow development..PERIOD! Nothing has changed.. if you object to a proposed development, you go and voice your opinion at the meetings..you may win, you may lose, that's life, get over it. Where was Travis at the BOS public comment section....hiding behind Wendy McCaw as usual!

If I wrote a letter to elected officials telling them: if you don't do what I want you to do, I will make your remaining time in office extremely bruising and hard, I'd be arrested for harassment or making threats against a person..

The Board of Supervisors should publicly condemn the NewsPress and demand a retraction and apology.

Then, they should look into a legal remedy...

California Penal Code

§76. Threats Against Public Officials, Appointees, Judges, Staff or Their Families; Intent and Ability to Carry Out threat; Punishment

1. Every person who knowingly and willingly threatens the life of, or threatens serious bodily harm to, any elected public official, county public defender, county clerk, exempt appointee of the Governor, judge, or Deputy Commissioner of the Board of Prison Terms, or the staff or immediate family of any elected public official, county public defender, county clerk, exempt appointee of the Governor, judge, or Deputy Commissioner of the Board of Prison Terms, with the specific intent that the statement is to be taken as a threat, and the apparent ability to carry out that threat by any means, is guilty of a public offense, punishable as follows:

1. Upon a first conviction, the offense is punishable by a fine not exceeding five thousand dollars ($5,000), or by imprisonment in the state prison, or in a county jail not exceeding one year, or by both that fine and imprisonment.

The Booze Brothers

Armstrong, Armendariz, & now Gil Armijo with Joe Centeno as chief enabler..

Centeno aid and supervisor hopeful Gil Armijo, recently busted for DUI

Watching the news last night, John Palminteri was interviewing Gil Armijo. Armijo is Supervisor Joe Centeno's right hand man who intends to run for his seat when Centeno retires. The story is Gil accused the new sheriff Bill Brown of fiscal malfeasance scarcely a month into Brown's tenure as sheriff. The reason for the whistle-blowing is because Armijo was busted for DUI! I guess he wants to get back at someone for his own stupidity..the guy's an alcoholic in denial.

Recently, the Santa Barbara County Taxpayers Asso tried to sell a glowing report to the county about the social and economic wonders of the Chumash Casino. I challenge them to commission a report on how much the taxpayers are doling out to clean up after drunk drivers..many of whom are members of the same taxpayers association!

Well… finally…she is using her MFCC background for some good…

Dr. Laura has found a way to end Planned Parenthood, end abortions, promote safe sex and not commit a sin! She even wrote a new book about it…

It’s called “All by Myself..Why Me?" and it is illustrated..see pics and ENJOY!

THE END!

Should you rent or buy??

How crude..but necessary! NY gov Eliot Spitzer spends over $4000 per shot at a hooker..I think that is less expensive than being married to a Jewish girl…we need a cost to benefit analysis.. the most I’ve ever paid is $50 and ALWAYS pay cash….that’s my rule!

Anyway Spitz is gone..what’s with these public servants? Cruising for sex, paying for sex…I know why..cos they are dickheads, that’s why.

There is a limit to what I’ll do for a pussy..sure, I’ll worship it, take care of it, nourish it..but let’s face it, after two or three years with the same one, the thrill wears off..so naturally, you start looking for love in all the wrong places. Then the shit hits the fan when you get caught..it always happens and always will so long as we have a libido.

Some of us are able to control Pinocchio. My dad gave me his copies of “The Laws of Success” by Napoleon Hill..this is stuff from way back but it tells you how to channel your sexual energy into more productive pursuits..I read it and don’t jerk off as much as I used to…self control!! That’s the key..I'm much happier now and so are all my girlfriends...

Ok..now I gotta go for a “bike ride”…

Now, all you wild girls out there..STRAIGHTEN UP and FLY RIGHT!!

Attention KMART shoppers…I have an alibi..

..some rat peeled the stickers off Dr. Laura’s vehicle while she was shopping at the mall..probably La Cumbre Plaza. She was PISSED!

She says she had two yellow ribbon magnetic stickers: “PROTECT OUR SON” and “ARMY”…someone ripped them in half and put them on her roof!! I guess she wasn’t on her Harley. Her son is fighting so she can shop at Macy’s! What kind of peeps we got in SB??

Well..she has her clues…evil people! The kind that set up the crosses at Arlington West, the kind that go to universities..damn liberals..and the miscreants on the SB and Berkeley city councils who don’t support the invasion. Then she uses this benign incident at the mall to cheerlead for Bush’s war! Bush, the commander-in-chief..who has fucked things up so bad that America’s economy is about to collapse!

She claims if all the military personnel laid down arms, we would be attacked by Russia, China and Venezuela.. and don’t forget Cuba. My goodness, this woman is dumb as in freedumb! As long as America enables Israel to piss on the Palestinians in Gaza, things like 9/11 will keep happening.

Then she goes on to praise her son Deryk.. the little shit who disgraced the 82^nd!

Laura.. so someone upset your phony little patriotic display, so what…get over it, deal with it. You don’t sound like at all like a warrior, but rather a spoiled little crybaby nitwit…

That’s why they called me Dirty Burt.. a long time ago…

Dirt is good. Dirt is earthy..it feels good to walk on..better than a sidewalk….dirt grows grass and flowers and food…concrete grows houses, litter and crime. Too much concrete beneath your feet makes you fat and stupid..so get out there and run on some dirt..

Big Dirt: It must be lonely at the bottom. The ethically challenged News-Press is spending time looking for ethics lapses in other media..maybe to feel less lonely. Travis hides behind Wendy's million dollar dress to take potshots at locals, trying to pull them into his little hole. It is not working Travis...you look like an idiot..even more than before. The News-Press management can't preach ethics if it has none!

instead of looking for dirt on others, the News-Press needs to clean up its own act...

hey...what's ol' News-Press pal Frank Hotchkiss doing driving around Santa Barbara in an old black Porsche with NO FRONT LICENSE PLATES..and this guy wants to be on the city council?

Hotchkiss..Obey the Law

And don’t forget Wendy cheerleader and chickenhawk..

..Ms. Dr. Laura…

why can't she practice what she preaches??

"Dr. Laura doesn't believe in divorce, pre- or extramarital sex, or writing off one's family members, and yet she has done every one of those things: She became estranged from her father, mother, and younger sister. She dumped the nice Jewish orthodontist she married and never mentions. She engaged in an enthusiastic affair with Los Angeles radio legend Bill Ballance (who speaks very candidly with Bane), who helped her get into radio. Dr. Laura lured her current husband, Lew Bishop, away from his wife and three children, had her tubal ligation reversed in order to conceive out of wedlock. Eventually she and Bishop married and produced a child as goopily extolled (and, to my mind, as exploited) as Kathie Lee Gifford's kids Cody and Cassidy. Child of a Jewish father and Catholic mother, Dr. Laura converted to Orthodox Judaism, a choice that she uses as a bludgeon to people that she perceives as less "committed" to her brand of situational morality."

It’s a dirty world…

“alligator lizards in the air, on my porch”

don’t miss the screening of “Citizen McCaw” a movie about our very own blond bobble-headed maniac..Wendy McCaw! March 7 at the Arlington

What has happened to blonde women?? They used to be so sensual…

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

News-Press Mother Company Ampersand (&) Sues City of Santa Barbara

a silly retaliatory lawsuit, not for justice, but for revenge...

"When in delusion,, sue" seems to be the SBNP motto. The paper stated today that Wendy has filed a lawsuit against the city through former city employee and current SBNP lawyer Barry Capello.. Capello hasn't won a case yet, so maybe this will be it! However, the suit is full of nonsense..Wendy is miffed that local activist and Transportation Committee member David Pritchett was exercising his constitutional rights by protesting her in De La Guerra. The conspiracy theory states that Pritchett wants to redesign De La Guerra Plaza to facilitate more rallies and the City of SB is trying to "punish" the News-Press for editorials....How goofy is that?

Let justice prevail; let the judge throw the case out and stop wasting people's time...

TRIBAL NEWS!!!

Travis Armstrong's editorials are basically rants against government; false accusations against former employees; and projections onto others about aberrant behavior he can't face in himself.... yet, he belongs to a tribe with a large criminal element...

Travis Armstrong of the Santa Barbara (Calif.) News-Press, is a registered member of the Leech Lake band of the Minnesota Chippewa Tribe. The tribe operates Palace Casino and Hotel in Cass Lake, Northern Lights Casino, Hotel and Convention Center in Walker, and White Oak Casino in Deer River.

Chippewa ex cons...conspiracy, theft

Minnesota Chippewa Tribe

Cass Lake, MN 218-335-8585

Funding will provide the opportunity to develop uniform, standard procedures for the Tribes, State, and counties to follow when working with Indian families involved in severe physical and sexual abuse cases in Minnesota. The project served as a consortium of four reservations (Fond du Lac, Grand Portage, Leech Lake, and White Earth) to develop model projects for handling child abuse cases. The primary objectives were to: (1) train Tribal staff and establish and train multidisciplinary teams; (2) develop Tribal ordinances, codes, and protocols; (3) develop collaborative State, county, and Tribal agreements to develop cooperative procedures; and (4) provide training to members of local Tribal Councils to improve the overall response to child physical and sexual abuse.

Tribe Child Abuse