No no no….you don’t need New Year’s Resolutions..it’s a guilt trip perpetrated by insecure psychos.. and here’s why….

1. spend more time with your family and friends..why..isn’t 24 hours a day enough??
2. Lose weight..why? an extra few pounds of fat are good for you..it is a survival instinct unless you have an eating disorder..(check DR. Laura pic!!)
3. Get fit…I am fit!! Fit as a fiddle with pancakes on the griddle
4. Quit smoking…the minority of dumb people still smoking is insignificant
5. Enjoy life more..who says I don’t enjoy making fun of Dr. Laura?!
6. Quit drinking…I LIKE MILK!! What a silly resolution
7. Get out of debt..that would be unpatriotic!
8. Learn something new..you mean like how to use my left hand, too?
9. Help others… who are too helpless to help themselves…I was born to help….
10. Get organized…another way of saying …”get anal”

Happy New Year!! And don’t change a thing!

Jedlicka's Saddlery Owner tells Pedro Nava to butt out of Greka Oil's business!

Private business conservatives band together to justify oil and gas spills....birds say "NO!"

Years ago I wrote a little jingle for Jedlicka’s Saddlery and sold it to them for 50 bucks..

“Jedlicka’s Saddlery is your friendly western shop

fashions for the family will keep you looking smart

come one come all to Jedlicka’s Western Store”

Over the years, I have evolved into a poet, philosopher, fire breathing blogger and all around jackass of all trades. However, my old pals at Jedlicka’s have not grown at all..they have devolved into slinging horseshit at the customers!!

I RENOUNCE MY JINGLE!!!

In a letter to the NewsPress, Si Jenkins, the owner of Jedlicka's Saddlery in Santa Barbara, complained to Wendy McCaw that Pedro Nava should stop worrying about Greka Oil environmental disasters and instead, reduce the pensions of government workers! Talk about horseshit in your ears..this is the type of thinking that got us into trouble in the first place..profit over principles. Conservative frat boy Mike Stoker is the spokesman for Greka (haven't figured out why yet) who also works for Sen Tom (Crazy Eyes) McClintock. Instead of coming right out and admitting they screwed up, Stoker has been blaming faulty equipment and acts of god for the spills.

Now, back to Jedlicka's...gov't workers spend a lot of time cleaning up after private industry..they are conscientious professionals (mostly) who contribute to their own pension so that after a 25 year career, they can retire without resorting to selling cowboy boots to make ends meet. Private industry should emulate the model instead of trying to short circuit environmental protections which cost them more in the long run..that money could go into modern equipment, trained workers and a stable workforce...

Gee Mikey..how about investing in a few pressure relief valves or oil overflow containment structures around the tanks!

BOYCOTT JEDLICKA'S for a week!

The “V” will always win…

otherwise…find yourself another bitch!

I'm making a list and checking it twice..

1. how about a Dyson vacuum cleaner with ball engineering...$469! at Linen n Things..WTF is ball engineering?

2. Boomchair..Wi-FX Wireless Gaming Chair..$99 at Best Buy…stop gaming & get out of the house!

3. Donna Karan Cashmere Mist Perfume.. $99 at Macy's..perfume is poison!

4. 37" flat-panel LCD HD TV...$599 at Staples..what’s wrong with my little 20 incher?

5. Hope Ranch Estate..$9,850,000 at Sotheby's..live next to Wendy McClaus

6. Subscription to the News-Press..cheapo! I can’t give it away on Seventh Avenue!

7. Veuve Clicquot NV Brut...$33.99 per bottle at World Market..hic..

8. Slingshot Flying Monkey with Scream sound…$5.99..shock the monkey!

9. A Harley..it is about as original as a tattoo nowadays

10. a dining table from Neuvie for $1999!..i don’t needa table because I eat on the floor

11. a dog..I’m SICK of these pampered neurotic beasts running around crapping on everything!

So there you have it.. and by the way....

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Sponsored this Year by the News-Press..how the Hell did they turn Kenny Loggins into an Old Woman??

How dumb was my valley girl...

Dana Perino..the White House press secretary didn’t know what the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962 was…man..she is dumb..but she’s pretty and sexy. I will offer to help her understand USA history by using this here big ass Cuban cigar to start with…

Dr. Laura..I’m sick of her, but she’s dumb as fruit and I like fruit so I’ll keep talking about her!

She mentions that the reason people feel good when drinking booze is the alcohol stimulates the release of dopamine..most addictive drugs do, Doc!!

Very interesting news coming out about the many charities soliciting funds for wounded soldiers and their families. Many of them are rewarding the fund managers instead of the soldiers..giving one penny per dollar to the soldiers..Congress is investigating. I wonder what they will find with Operation Family Fund that Dr. Laura so eagerly supports..a bunch of brand new Harleys for the fund operators who are supposedly all volunteers??

And the silliest thing I’ve seen is this “study” from

DrLaura’sBlog..her incessant preaching about staying married for biblical reasons…marriage and divorce are as American as apple pie…the institution of marriage is contrary to human nature..therefore..marriages should be limited BY LAW to seven years..then it’s gotta end!

Nature vs Marriage

Jianguo “Jack” Liu, a Distinguished Professor of Fisheries and Wildlife at Michigan State University, has published a study that shows that divorce is bad for the environment. (Proceedings of the National Academy of Science - http://csis.msu.edu/Publication%20files/PNAS_divorce_environment.pdf) With rising divorce rates, there are more households with fewer people, thereby taking up more space per person and using up more energy and water. A refrigerator, for example, uses roughly the same amount of energy whether it belongs to a family of four or one parent and child. Liu estimates that Americans spend an extra $3.6 billion annually on water as a result of the extra households created when people divorce.

More Blonde Moments

Here Goes....ta da

Clown of the Year: Dr. Laura..self promoting, self congratulating con artist trying to resurrect her career on the backs of the American troops..promotes a rightwingthing war like a carnival barker..preaches about family values but can’t manage her own whacked out clan!

Funniest Blogger: JaneyGodley ..I get a kick out of her!

Fool of the Year..ME! ME! “the biggest fool to ever hit the big time..and all I gotta do is..Act Naturally!”

Best Tits: the girl with the blue nipples!

Philanthrapissonyouall Award:

Wendy McCaw..tries to improve her baaad reputation by sponsoring the Unity Shoppe telethon, but we all know she’s just trying to improve her potty aim…

Most Useless: Nipper!

Thanks for Nothing: the Santa Barbara News-Press..for giving us nothing day after day after day!

Best Free Blog Site..EGO!!

Evangelicals of the Year: the “nice” folks at Santa Barbara Harley Davidson..”God will watch over us… so we don’t get speeding tickets!”

Biggest Scaredy Cat..President Bush..axis of evil, Iraq weapons of mass delusion, Iran no nuke nuke “threat”, won’t help veterans, afraid to admit mistakes..instead tries to turn them into a strategy to win in Iraq….WTF is up with this guy?

CONGRATS…that’s all there is..and there ain’t no more….

Sunday Dec 2, 2007

Unity Shoppe Motorcycle Run

Wow..what an event..hundreds of bikes from big Harleys to little scooters gathered on Santa Claus Lane for the Unity Shoppe Motorcycle Run..it was great! Folks looked really thrilled to be part of it..

This event was a sharp contrast to the political stunt at Harley Davidson just the day before….no preachers or showboaters..just some nice folks doing a good thing…

Santa Claus Lane is the essence of good, old California..fun, funky, casual and friendly in an awesome setting..this TOY RUN was the biggest ever..and the riders and sponsers should be thanked..even Harley Davidson of SB!

RIDE ON!!

my day in a time warp at Harley Davidson with Dr. Laura….

This is almost 2008. You would think humans would have evolved beyond war. But this is not the case. There are pockets of people who actually prefer war over peace or who don’t have a clue how or who to fight. If I am attacked, I’ll fight to the death, but I won’t pick on someone just because he’s weak or poor or he scares me. That’s what the USA did when we invaded Iraq..a small poor desert country. It’s nothing to brag about.

Now, on to the fundraiser..actually, a teeny weeny war rally.

THE GOOD: there were some cool bikes, an old helicopter and some good music and food..and one or two cute Harley girls..and no booze!

The BAD: there was something very sad about the whole event. I’ve never seen a less spirited group of folks trying so hard to look cool and belong to something. There was so much leather, tattoos and noise..it looked like a Halloween party! These folks need a lot of attention. One hairy guy from 1974 had a ”God Bless Our Troops” tee shirt on. There were only about 50 people there..if that many! So much for NewsPress PR!

I read in the NewsPress that Dr. Laura would give a speech at 12:30 PM about Operation Family Fund..she shows up at 1:15 PM….she says a few preachy words ..”our troops fight in Iraq so we can have fun here”..or something similar..although it appeared no one was listening..

Dr. Laura looks at me with Lust in her Eyes either that or she was trying to channel Evel Knievel!

That is the gist of her misunderstanding…our troops don’t fight so we can have fun..they fight because they are in the service and sometimes get sent to the wrong places..America needs to start owning up to that fact and work to end the occupation...

THE UGLY: Actually, Laura’s not as ugly as I thought.. she was clad in leather and giant sunglasses..her jeans fit rather well.. SEXY! She saw me taking a pic and started to unbutton.. check it out..WOW!

I guess we’ll continue to play little patriot war games until we get a new, smarter president… so here’s looking at you, old kid..

More pics from Dr. Laura’s Traveling Sideshow!

the Preacher...

her new scooter!

the Dunk Tank looked more like Dunk Bucket!