Sonny

Dr. Laura’s Horoscope... by Madame Rosinka and Sonny..

I went into Santa Barbara looking for some answers..I found an SB icon...

Madame Rosinka

..I asked her about global warming and my chances of canoeing on State St in 10 years.. She said “don’t worry about it!” I felt better immediately. Then I asked her if she would help me do Dr. Laura’s horoscope.. "Yes!" she said mysteriously...here it is…

I recently found out that Dr. Laura is a Capricorn being hatched on Jan 17..that means I know all her tricks. We Caps are a miserable brooding bunch, although some of us are geniuses. Here’s some insight:

• Dr..when you get up in front of people telling them you support their soldier sons and daughters, you are doing it for the money..Capricorns are introverts and HATE public events and speaking..unless the focus is completely on them.
• Dr. when someone criticizes you, you have seizures. This is a common Capricorn trait..you really have to be highly evolved and aware (like me) to accept criticism.
• Dr..the smiley face on your website is phony! As a rule, Capricorns do not smile because they know the blues are just around the corner..why get our hopes up??
• Capricorns hate their children..obviously
• Capricorns hate their spouses..obviously
• Capricorns hate themselves..obviously

"CAPRICORN..change you ways or we have ways to change you!!" says Madame Rosinka

There you have it..a mini portrait of a Capricorn..a very sick goat….