To get into Oprah’s party for Obama…

I don’t know..hell, I drive a pick-up truck and am always in a sweatshirt and shorts! That’s it..that’s my wardrobe. I may be too black, actually, having toured as a roadie one summer years ago with the O’Jays and Commodores. Would Oprah appreciate the pains a white guy went thru to try to fit in with stadium full of black folks?? That was one of the best summers of my life!

“Get on board..everybody, join in, join the Love Train..Love Train…” maybe that should be Obama’s campaign song!

Anyway, my old pal Ellen, seen here posing in Summerland a few years back, might be able to get me a ticket. I got some questions for Oppie if I get in!

• Oprah, are you black?

• You have made a fortune preying on neurotic white women. How are you different from Dr. Laura?

• Is Obama your brother?

• I know the O’Jays..do you??

• How do you like Montecito Village?

• Do you think Ty Warner is gay?

• Do you think Wendy is a good billionaire or a bad billionaire

• Can you spot me a coupla million so I can buy a ranch in Montana? I gotta get away for a spell..