Sonny

your nose is longer than a telephone wire....

Dr. Laura lies alot. It is almost pathological. And this is how she makes a living! Her latest fibs:

• she said she'd quit the NewsPress if they censored her..well, if she works at the SBNP offices, she and all employees are blocked from certain blogs that Wendy does not like!

• why doesn't she print letters contrary to her views? She says she will under these conditions:

that they are "factually correct" and not "mean". According to her, the contrary letters ALL have been mean and factually incorrect, so she does not print them! Can you believe this nut?? Gee Laura, just stop fabricating and confess your intolerance of opposing views that make you uncomfortable.. stop doing the "rightwingthing"!

The Indie reports that the NewsPress has blocked access to certain blogs that are unflattering to Wendy.The shameless, naughty blogs are:

he told me to tell you that Rob Lowe called and told me to tell you that......

.....YOUR HARD DRIVE IS READY!!!

Gets Uglier....

The front page of the NewsPress had a story about child porn found on a company computer. This computer was used by ex-editor Jerry Roberts, among others, and the NP is trying to link Roberts to the porn. The story by itself is damaging to Mr. Roberts simply by linking it to him. I'm certain that is the NP goal as the public fight and lawsuits get tossed around between the two.

There are many scenerios here. If Roberts is guilty, he's in big trouble. If the NewsPress planted the images in their computer, they are in big trouble. I seem to remember an anonymous blogger on Blogabarbara claiming big news about an ex-editor and to be careful who you blindly support! This was months ago, so who knows what's up. I know I wouldn't trust the NewsPress as far as I could throw them, but Roberts now has a shadow of suspicion following him. Watch this story!

and for the past few days, the Indie web site has been off..maybe it's just my my web server..hmm..oh.. it turns out the Indie went to a new online format..less user-friendly!!

I think we got a love connection!

Craig Smith from craigsmith'sblog and Dr. Laura from the NewsPress have been sending each other public notes of admiration! Dr L praises Craig for breaking the true Wendy/Turkey story..the real turkey turned out to be ex-editor John Lankford. Then Craig praises Dr. L because she said she was going to compliment him in the paper for the story. AND..someone in Dr. Laura’s camp spelled “compliment” with an e.”complement” instead of an “i”..dummies!

Anyway, Craig said he was surprised Laura wasn’t censored by the NP management. Now, Craig..why would they censor a flattering report about Wendy? Then Laura says she would quit if the NewsPress censored her..this is the same lady who wants to censor blogs because they are “nasty!”.

Craig..instead of licking Laura’s boots, next time ask some questions.

• Is she a licensed psychotherapist?
• Why does she keep propping herself up on her son’s military service?
• If she says she would quit if the News-Press censored reporters, why is she still working there?

here's some links to the Arizona Daily Star interview that "anonymous" was talking about.

Dr Laura's interview with Arizona Daily Star

and some comments about it

Check out the "comments" section. Comments are rated..if they don't flatter Dr. Laura, they are hidden until you click on them! Doing the rightwingthing!

a message to my French friends..

Turkey#1- Wendy...

As it turns out, Wendy McCaw is OK with me killing and eating turkeys! WHOA..what a relief! Craig Smith broke the story that ex-editor John Lankford came up with the idea to eat no animals on Thanksgiving..it was widely assumed that WENDY ordered the new Turkey Day ethos. But remember, when you assume you make an ASS out of U and ME! Now, Dr. Laura has praised Craig for digging out the facts of the story and vindicating Wendy. I guess Wendy's a regular gal now. Another example of brown nose Laura shilling for her boss...

Turkey#2- Travis..

in his never-ending quest to find the cabal trying to bring down the NewsPress, Travis sinks to the bottom of his little sludge pit. He says of a lawyer from the Environmental Defense Center "I was on the 101 awhile back, and someone who appeared to be Ms. Krop whizzed by us. she had a "BOYCOTT THE NEWSPRESS" sticker on the back of her car. This suggests that Ms. Krop believes in free speech for some people, but not for the NewsPress management"...blah blah blah

that's like me saying:

Hey, I was on the 101 recently and saw someone who appeared to be Travis Armstrong and another guy, who was fat with curly red hair..they were swerving and I saw one of them move his head into the driver's lap, as if performing fellatio! This suggests that they think a car is a bar and a motel room!

Turkey#3 the Reverend andy Caldwell/COLAB..

Seems like Andy has been preaching morality up in Santa Maria so's us folks down here will heed the message..REPENT YEE SINNER LIBERAL COMMIE RADICALS! His focus is on the ills of the south county, ie Santa Barbara. He claims the 60's radical types are ruining his vision of a moral America and cites the "pill" and feminism as reasons. Oh boy.....

Actually, he sounds very similar to Rev Jerry Falwell..phony Christians who can't stand a diverse, opinionated America..only one that is controlled by the "fear" of God! Of course, this is simple-minded nonsense and the basis for the dysfunctional American family. The father has all the control and is prone to abusing it by terrorizing the subservient family members..very characteristic of ultra-conservatism. Many of these families are hiding alcoholism, incest and other behaviors that they "pray" god will forgive..yet they keep doing it. Silly stuff from the COLAB congregation... Andy..get a real job or take up yoga...

LADIES! LADIES! LADIES

politeness: the most acceptable hypocrisy

If there's one thing that sets me off, it's censorship! Small minded nincompoops trying to control what others read, see or listen to, simply because they are "uncomfortable" with it. I WON'T HAVE IT!! This is AMERICA (unless you live in England) and we have the right to express ourselves freely..so long as it's done legally. If you can't handle that...TOUGH TITTIES!

If you have a blog, you can make any rules you want and that's fine. However, don't you dare try to tell me what I can do on this blog. Instead, explore the reasons why some posts make you cry, why anonymous posts make you sigh or why some blogs make you wanna die. As you begin to understand, you will gain valuable awareness into you own psyche and your fears will melt away like whip cream on an ice cream sunday!

EXALT THE TRIBE!! says Vinnie

There's a new group of ultra-rightwingthings in the Santa Ynez Valley who are protesting prostitutes..they are called NO MORE SLUTS..please ignore them! How else am I gonna get any action??

There's is also another group of anti-casino folks called NO MORESLOTS ..they are giving the Chumash fits! Everytime NO MORE SLOTS blinks, the Chumash write a defensive opinion in the NewsPress and Travis, the gay Indian, chimes right in! Maybe the Chumash own an interest in the NewsPress..they sure get a lot of press!

spin that wheel of fortune!

by Sonny, Cher and Gord Collins

It's eight o'clock in the evening and I'm getting ready for my night at the casino. You know, the one in Santa Ynez..the one the Indians own, our local casino. Tonight, I have decided to go in drag..just for a little fun. For my wig, I spray painted a mop head; for my dress, I went to the local laundromat earlier today and pulled someone's out of the dryer. She'll never miss it! Then, I applied my makeup with crayons..I looked HOT!

I get in my pick up truck and head on over highway 154, darting around like a pinball to keep from hitting the drunks driving back from the casino.

I made it..alive! My other problem was that I had to look good so I made sure there were no stains on my new dress. Well, there wasn't many anyway. I gotta stop eatin' pizza lyin' down.

I move towards the bar and sit on a high stool crossing a stocking leg over the other. I admire the way the material hugs my calf and the long heels on the black shoes. (harder than hell to walk in these things, ladies)

The Chumash Casino seemed a great place to meet women (even though I was still in drag) and a super place to get lung cancer. I had my comps card, you know, the card that keeps giving nothin'. Kamikaze Dreams is my favorite slot machine and it's as loose as some of the women in here. 3 battleships on bet max will give me the progressive. I hit on 3 nuclear clouds and the credits are just makin' a racket, the kind of noise I don't mind. People are even looking at me, including a familiar young woman.

She was very attractive, but it was her relaxed, nonchalant manner that captured my attention. A good upbringing must have given her such confidence and faith that all would be taken care of. Somebody must be watching over her. She sat down on the bench and waited patiently. What a serene vision to brighten my evening.

She acknowledged my presence with a smile. There was little pretentiousness as she played her game and won a little. Ding, ding, ding and she was happy to win. No inhibition and lots of freely expressed emotion right there for all to see. Such a natural beauty, I stared hypnotically, till the guy to the right of me started coughin' and hackin' like he was dyin'. Somethin' wanted to get out of him bad, I'm tellin ya. The guy actually hit three bars on the middle payline and wins. He collected his fortune and then staggered off down the aisle looking for another machine that would accept him. There was even a trail of caked mud falling off of his shoes. You'd never see that in a Vegas movie.

She asked me what my name was.
I tilted my head and said with a sly smile, "Cher."
She coughed and with her own wry smile said, "Well, Cher, my name is, Fluenza, Anita Fluenza"
I was visibly disappointed. My dream girl sounded like some disease. Now I understand the cough.
"I'm so glad to meet someone like you here Anita. You know I really need to go to the restroom. Could you play my chips for me?" I begged.
"Oh. Ah, yes of course. Any favorite numbers?"
"No, not really, you make the decision and I'll just live with it. Go ahead, I trust you." I said.
"Okay, don't be long" she said to the roulette guy.

The restrooms were on the other side of the casino so I walked quickly in these stupid heels! I had to go so bad and I wasn't sure if I could make it. I was sweating buckets and starting to walk kind of funny, in a little bit of a hunch. An old lady in a wheel chair thought I was retarded and motioned with her one good arm for her nurse to give me assistance. The nurse was preoccupied with the old lady's oxygen bottle though and didn't give me any notice.

Man, if I keep sweatin' like this I won't have to go by the time I get there. One of the security guards stopped talking to his friend and turned his head toward me. With eyes cast downward yet scanning the immediate floor ahead, he follows me. This guy must be new to security work. He might as well hang a sign on his back, Student Detective. Stay Back 50 feet." He looked like an Indian!

I reached the washrooms, which were adorned with pictures of cowboys lying on a sandy beach facing barbed wire barriers. There was blue sky above like a post card and the fancy lettering at the bottom of one poster that said 'Relax, Enjoy the Casino.'

I finished my business and ran back to Anita..how was she doing with my chips? Hey, what the fuck...she was LEAVING!

Then, suddenly, the security guard grabbed me by the throat and screamed.."Give me the money and I will let you live." He had a gun pointed right at me.
"Hey look, I don't have any money. I was just following that woman who took off with the money I won at the Casino." I was shaking.
"What.. ah, so you knew Anita. She was a wonderful lover, but she didn't know when to stop." His voice was foreign. Anita was gone.
"No, I didn't know her, honest. I just met her at the casino."
He laughed, "Ah yes, well, that is as long as it takes with Anita. She must have given you the money knowing you were a sucker."
"She didn't give me anything. I followed her out here to get my winnings back that she stole."

"Of course. Perhaps you could come back to your truck and we'll take a look. Anita is very resourceful."
We walked back to my truck, which was stuck half deep in the Chumash sewage treatment pond.
"Open the bed tool chest." I took the keys out of the ignition and went and opened the tool chest. There was a bag in there that I'd never seen. It felt like bundles of cash and weighed about 25 pounds.
"Give me that," He said.
I threw the bag at him and ran. He fell back into the sewage pond. A shot whizzed past my ear and another burned my leg. A small cow pasture wasn't far away and although he shone the light on me, his shot still hit some of the cows in the way. "MOOOO" they said.

Running was not my thing even with a good leg and my lungs were heaving. He'd likely catch me in a short time. I was gonna die out here at the hands of some greedy underworld character. He was getting closer so I laid low. The light from the flashlight hit me and a shot rang out loud. There was no pain, no sensation. Was I already dead?

The light dropped to the ground. He was dead.

"Come back here Cher." A familiar voice yelled at me. "Come back, I don't want to hurt you."
I got up and walked back toward her. It was Anita. "What is going on?"
"You don't need to know. We have to get your truck out of the sewage pond before the environmentalists find it."
"What about all those other people back there?" I said.
"They're all dead." She said with finality standing still. "Kind of funny how it's just you and me left. But you know, when I put the money in your truck, I knew that I'd see you again." Now she was startin' to get scary.
"What money, you mean my 1300 bucks? How many guys..er..gals like me did you rip off?" I asked with genuine intrigue.
She laughed hysterically, "I know you're in drag! Your boner gave you away! But seriously, not many cause I'd be a busy woman to get this much." She held the trophy bag high and shone the light on it. She looked like a statue of liberty holding the American dream in her outstretched hand. I muttered something under my breath, backed my truck out of the sewage pond, and sped home..tearing off my wig and dress and throwing them out the window! Then I pulled out a miniature bottle of tequila, and chugged it..for Anita ..wherever she may be

"Dr." Laura Blathers...

"Unions are EVIL!!" claims Dr. Laura in her latest suck-up-to -Wendy column.

When the new website "Santa Barbara Newsroom" was launched by eight former NewsPress reporters, Wendy sent Dr. Laura out to try to discredit them. Her latest column is filled with the same anti-union hysteria that got the NewsPress into trouble in the first place. The problem here is that Wendy-Travis- and "Dr." Laura seem to have interchangeable brains. They keep parroting what the other says.

Anti-American Worker Ethos

American workers have the right to organize and seek representation. This fact is lost on the News-Press owner who spews an anti-American worker ethos and who, by the way, got rich not by working, but by divorcing!

The reporters at the Santa Barbara NewsRoom are union members and the site is supported by the Teamsters..it's a group effort as opposed to one-trick dog and pony show a la the NewsPress.

Dr. Laura will never understand the working class because she has no work ethic. Her column is evidence of that as all she is capable of is shilling for her boss!

Frances Snyder Lathers...

what is the tribe smoking?

Almost as strange as Dr. Laura rantings, Frances Snyder, the Chumash PR gal, wrote a paranoid commentary about being stalked by a man who doesn't like casinos or Indians! Of course, she couldn't name him, but said he was part of the valley coterie who continually "harasses" and stalks the tribe. She sounds like Travis claiming that the Teamster's were stalking him, and lying to a judge about it!

Ms. Snyder's weepy poor-little -me victim act was an obvious attempt to discredit the no-more-slots folks in the valley, who must be worrying the tribe.

Poor Frances...she's hired a security guard who tells her to sleep with her cell phone and checks her house at night with a flashlight!

Gee wiz, Fran, why don't you just have the guy who you claim is bothering you arrested??

George Bush's Fear of Women .. from his mother to wife Barbara, from his daughters to Nancy Pelosi to Helen Thomas..George has got a problem. To prove he's a tough man, he is using the US military to kill people in Iraq, yet cowers at the feet of Pelosi and Thomas!

Nancy Pelosi does what Bush is afraid to do..visits Syria

good for her! the first step to understanding people is to table your preconceived notions, and start dialogues by visiting different cultures..ie..get the fuck outta Texas for awhile!

says Bush: "A lot of people have gone to see President Assad ... and yet we haven't seen action. He hasn't responded," he told reporters soon after she arrived in Damascus Tuesday. "Sending delegations doesn't work. It's simply been counterproductive."

Pelosi did not comment on Bush's remarks but went for a stroll in the Old City district of Damascus, where she mingled with Syrians in a market.

Wearing a flowered head scarf and a black abaya, Pelosi visited the 8th century Omayyad Mosque. She made the sign of the cross in front of an elaborate tomb which is said to contain the head of John the Baptist. About 10 percent of Syria's 18 million people are Christian.

At the nearby outdoor Bazouriyeh market, Syrians crowded around, offering her dried figs and nuts and chatting with her. She bought some coconut sweets and looked at jewelry and carpets.

Yeah, real scary people, George!

and right on cue, the NEWYORKPOST is all over Pelosi's trip, making fun of women in veils! Rupert Murdoch owns the Post and FOXNEWS; he also owns George Bush..you might say George is Rupert's #1 BITCH.. it's pathetic!!

k-i-s-s-i-n-g..... behind Wendy's Back??

I picked up a copy of Santa Barbara Magazine..the local mag for young rich hipster wannabes.. and the April/May 2007 issue had Starshine Roshell's article about fake breasts just like Craig Smith said! Why is this an issue? Because it's a magazine and magazines have issues! Also, Nipper is a contributing editor and his galpal Gina Tolleson is the executive editor! and Nipper's co-publisher of the NewsPress and Wendy, his girlfriend, owns the NewsPress, and Starshine was FIRED or resigned before she could get fired from the NewsPress..remember? Is this the first public split in the NewsPress loyalty armor? Is Nipper in love with Starshine now?? Is Starshine in love with writing and maybe is just using him?? I DON'T KNOW!!